Certain events make us realize the error of our ways, by normal human nature, we only become remorseful, when we get caught doing something wrong, we ordinarily would never repent if we got away with doing evil over and over again.
I would tell him several times in a day, to keep his fantasies to himself, you see Amarachi, was a married woman who lived next door, yes a lovely woman I might add, but married none the less, and there was something else, something dark and sad, a secret shame she tried so carefully to hide.
Amarachi was married to Somto, better known to his friends as the Johnny Blaze, well because he could easily blow up without warning, and he really was a “prick”. Somto was a night club bouncer, and he got used to treating everything like garbage, including Amarachi his wife.
Yes, Somto was a big “prick”, a slob, in subtle terms he was a pig, he would drink all night, come home drunk, scream about everything he saw, drink some more, and yes beat his wife with a belt, sometimes he would beat her in the backyard, and when we tried to intervene, he would say she was his responsibility and he had to train her, yeah right like she was a wild animal he was trying to tame.
Femi, my friend and house mate would go over to the house and confront Somto, but he would shrug and walk away, we called the police on several occasions but nothing was done, they were his buddies, and I remember once they said we were trespassing and Somto would press charges when next we tried to gain access to his home, of course we had no evidence, and Amarachi was too scared to call the cops herself, she would later say she was in a helpless situation.
Amarachi was a school dropout, she was a dancer in a local club, Somto frequented back in the day, and according to her, he was the only one who treated her right, I guess she knew what she was saying.
Many times we would hear Somto call her names, yeah he was that loud and on many occasions he would lock her out in the backyard overnight, Femi would stand by the kitchen window and watch her sob.
He told me many times how she needed to be rescued, he would say she needed a man to love her and treat her right, I guess he thought he was her knight in shining armor, I would always tell him to thread carefully, because Somto was a maniac, and his little brain always told him to act violently first and think later, if at all he ever did.
I remember Femi gradually started be-friending Amarachi, at first she was reluctant, but gradually she began enjoying his company, he would go over when Somto was at work, or they would discuss over the backyard fence when he was at the bar.
Gradually Femi fell in love with Amarachi, and I think she did too, Femi was making plans to run away with her, I don’t know till now if that was a good idea or not, well obviously my opinion didn’t matter.
Amarachi now relished the nights Somto would lock her out, she would sneak into our house and into Femi’s bed, and soon she mastered the art of sneaking in and out, I lost count of how many times it happened, on one hand I was glad she was happy and found comfort in Femi, on the other hand I was worried as to what the outcome might be if Somto ever found out, and no I wasn’t worried because I was a coward, I was simply worried because he was a very dangerous man.
I found out soon enough, Somto was getting suspicious, you see Amarachi was regaining her self-confidence, on one occasion she walked out on him, and went to sit on the back steps, Somto came out and beat her black and blue, I had to pick up a golf club to make him stop, I called the police, and reported a domestic dispute, they never showed, and Femi was off visiting his folks.
He was furious when he got back, but I told him not to confront Somto, for lack of reason, and that night Amarachi came over, she cooked us dinner and cried her eyes out, we cheered her up with jokes and taught her how to play guitar hero, the fun ended abruptly when she heard his van pull up, she was not quick enough to get into the house, but she made it to the back porch, Somto stormed into the backyard and started pushing and slapping her around, questioning and asking where she was all night, he called her a no good whore, and punched her in the face, she ran into our kitchen, her nose bleeding, Femi held her, and I went to get the first aid kit and my golf club, I knew Somto would come and I knew he would come for a fight.
True to his brute nature he stormed in, with a kitchen knife, he screamed and cursed, Amarachi hid behind Femi, her nose bleeding, Femi and I stood our ground, we threatened to call the cops, he wasn’t moved, he lunged at me, punched me in the nose before I could swing the club, it fell to the floor, and so did I, he kicked me in the stomach, and I felt like all the air had left my body.
Femi charged him, and knocked him backwards, the knife fell out of his hand, he regained his footing, and rushed Femi, Somto was a huge man, it was like a bull coming at you, Femi picked up the club and swung, he missed, and he got punched, I saw Amarachi run out of kitchen.
Somto was on Femi, kicking and punching, I tried to crawl up to them, but I wasn’t of much use, I could hear the blows, suddenly I heard sirens in the distance, he screamed at Femi, threatened to kill him before the cops got there, from the side of my eye I saw him pick up the knife, his knee was on Femi’s back, he pulled Femi’s neck backwards, he was going to slit his throat, and that was when I heard it, the first shot, then the second, then the third.
Somto dropped in a heap, Amarachi stood there, gun in hand, with a look I had never seen before.
The cops rushed in, I passed out.
Written By Arome Ameh (The Priest)
It took me twenty four years to get here, and a lot of guts, but I think it’s time I got it off my chest.
I won’t pretend I grew up in a perfect home, and suddenly things went bad, for as long as I can remember, it was always the same, I grew up thinking all Fathers yelled, and all mothers cried.
Father was never happy, he always yelled, everything was always done wrong, and even when he did it wrong, he always found a way of blaming mother.
I saw him punch her, shove her, swear at her, but I never saw him hold her, hug her, kiss her, or even say anything nice to her.
It’s not a long story, just a brief sad story, of an eleven year old boy, a story that changed his life forever.
I just got back from school, I was in the kitchen eating, and as usual, mother would set my meal with the usual cupcake on the side, chocolate flavored, so I could eat immediately I got back from school, she never missed it, I still remember the smell of cake batter, she baked so much, the aroma was almost permanent, and even up until now as an adult, I always remember her, when I smell cake batter, among other things.
It was quite, unusually quiet, I didn’t think much of it, because I knew it was just a matter of time before father would get back, and he would find something to yell about.
He got back earlier than usual, I was just about biting into my cupcake, when he walked in, I remember losing my appetite, he walked passed me like I was not there, not that I cared, I was accustomed to it, he yelled out for mum, but he didn’t get any response, I knew she was asleep, she was pregnant, and it was hard for her to keep up with her daily routine, I didn’t bother checking up on her, because I knew she was a light sleeper, and I didn’t want to wake her up.
He yelled out again, and still yet no reply, I remained in the kitchen, and waited for it, I heard him walk up the stairs, I could tell he was mad, what else was new, suddenly I heard him yelling at her, I couldn’t quite make out the words, but I knew there were angry words, I left the kitchen, and made my way to the foot of the stairs, I stretched my neck, trying to hear what was being said, dad was yelling, and mum was trying to pacify him, suddenly he appeared at the top of the stairs, and stared right down at me, I felt a chill, this was not normal, “what are you looking at you stupid boy”, he said, don’t you have anything better to do than stuff your face with cakes? Your mother has made a girl out of you, am pretty sure you are the first boy who will have his period; those were things father said to me.
I let his words wash over me, but I didn’t move, I was accustomed to it, I think deep down he just needed to rave and rant all the time to give himself a sense of self-worth, mother emerged from the bedroom, and simply told him to leave me alone, and that was when it happened, he turned around and punched her in the face, he didn’t care if she was pregnant or not, she spun around, and used her elbows to shield her tummy from hitting the wall, he grabbed her by the hair and pulled her back, haven’t you done enough to ruin him, father said, why doesn’t he act like normal boys, and you dare tell me to leave him alone, he spoke about me like I wasn’t even there.
Mother tried to pacify him, he started shoving her, I saw her walking back, towards the head of the stairs, I tried to warn her she was too close to the edge, but his constant yelling drowned my words, she missed her step, I saw her fall, it was like an eternity, but while she fell, she tried to shield her stomach, I saw her fall, I heard bones crack, I saw her falling, and I was rooted to the spot, until she hit me, and we both landed on the floor, I hit my head, and when I opened my eyes, I saw her, lying down, she was staring at me, but was looking through me, suddenly I felt something sticky on my cheek, it was red, it was warm, it was her blood, and then I realized, she was dead, he pushed her, I passed out.
I didn’t see him anymore after that, I went to live with my uncle, years later he told me, my father left, started afresh, was arrested, but never convicted, ruled as a domestic accident, people fall down stairs all the time.
I still don’t understand why he was such a bitter person, mother didn’t deserve what he did to her, I haven’t spoken to him or seen he since that day, personally I see no point
I have moved on, am happy, have a family now, they give me joy, decided to share this, I don’t know how it will help, but am pretty sure it will.
Written By Arome Ameh (The Priest)
In the morning he woke up, dressed up and left for work without saying a word, needless to say he untied me before he left, I lay on the bed with my face in the sheets, and I cried, I cried so hard my lungs and throat hurt, I only raised my head when the nanny came in, I quickly shut my room door and gave her instructions on what to do with keji.
I went into the bathroom, and tried to clean myself up the best I can, I had a swollen lip, and a slight cut above my right eye, so I applied some make up, and moved out of the house quickly so as to avoid the nanny………….,this time I was angry and I hated myself for crying, I had to take a stand, so my first stop was the hospital to get myself checked.
I got to the hospital and asked to see matron tamasi, she was shocked when she saw me, she could only just control herself from screaming, she scolded me and threatened to call the police, but I assured her that this time, I had it all under control,”Mrs Gboye she said, I beg you with everything you hold dear, leave that man, he is going to kill you eventually, think of the child you have now, do you want her exposed to such a life, hasn’t she been through enough”, those words sent a shiver down my spine, and at that very moment I realized it was not just about me anymore, it was about me and keji, and this time I was going to put a stop to it.
The next thing I did was get a new number and called amarachi, I told her everything that had happened, naturally she was outraged, but I calmed her down, told her everything was going to be alright, you see, at the point I had an unusually calm demeanor, I was not going to make any hasty decisions, my exit had to be perfect, and I was formulating a plan.
All I needed was one perfect opportunity to execute my plan, and while I waited I began to strategize on the best way to pay lawani back for all the years of pain and suffering, I know I can’t get those years back, but I was going to make him pay. I did a lot of research and my plan was taking shape, it was only a matter of time.
On the 15th of September 2010,the opportunity presented itself, it was a hard opportunity, but I was willing to make the sacrifice, Myself and keji were driving back from a weeknight church service when I decided to stop for ice cream; we pulled into an eatery, which made us 20 minutes late getting home. Lawani had gone out looking for us, and when he returned home, fully aware of this infraction and furious, he ordered me to take keji to bed.
Then, for several hours, lawani punished me, telling me,
“I’m going to do this until you pass out”.
“Then I’m going to take you out to a secluded place, slit your throat, and no one will ever know what happened”.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, after struggling on the bed, we fell in a heap onto the floor, and a burst of searing pain shot up my back; i could barely move. I was in such agony that Lawani had to lift me back onto the bed for our ritual makeup sex. Even then, he ordered me to get on top.
The level of violence he reached that night was like nothing I’d ever experienced,” “I didn’t know what he was capable of doing beyond that, and I didn’t want to find out.”
He fell asleep after we were done ,and I got off the bed and prepared some breakfast for him, but before I left the room, I took one last look at him, and for the first time I smiled, and walked out.
I prepared his breakfast and brought it to him in bed, I woke him up gently and whispered how sorry I was in his ear, yes I was the submissive wife, you see after years of abuse, lawani had taught me how switch between characters with the greatest of ease.
He rose up, looked at me and said “you see how easy life can be if you behave yourself, and with that he ate and took his coffee, when he was done he stood up and tried to walk to the bathroom, I could see he stumbled a bit, but he probably thought it was due to what had transpired the night before, I went downstairs, and called out to him to come take a look at some things I had for him, I was standing at the foot of the stairs, he walked to the head of the stairs looking very stunned, his eyes were a bit swollen and he could hardly support himself, knowing lawani the way I did, I knew his ego would never allow him admit he was weak, and so he attempted to walk down the stairs, and that’s when it happened, he missed the first step, and he came tumbling down in a heap, I watched him roll down the stairs and I didn’t move an inch, I could hear his bones crack as he hit each stair and he landed right in front of me, he was conscious but could not move, I stared at him for a minute, I could see the look of both pain and surprise in his eyes, he attempted to say something, but I quickly put a polythene bag over his head and watched him choke until he passed out, I checked his pulse, he was still alive, so I quickly ran up the stairs, picked keji up from her bed and came back down, he was still unconscious, so I picked up my phone and called the hospital, I explained what had happened and an ambulance was sent over.
Lawani was taken to the hospital, and we followed behind in my car, I called my mother and told her what had happened, so she met us at the hospital and took keji home.
The doctors confirmed he had a broken spine, he was paralyzed from the neck down, they had also carried out a scan of his head, noticed some swelling in the brain and confirmed he had suffered partial brain damage, to put it mildly, my dearest lawani had been reduced to nothing but a semi-vegetable, and in my assumed form of panic, I asked what the implications were, and I was informed that he would probably be in need of external care for the rest of his natural life, unless a miracle happened, don’t hold your breath, miracles don’t happen for demons.
I walked out of the hospital a few days later, with a sigh of relief, for the first time in a very long time, I could feel the rays of the sun, and the cool air blowing around me, don’t judge me, and was I happy, you damn right I was.
Lawani was in the hospital for a couple of months, he showed very little signs of improvement, you could tell he understood everything that went on around him, but was powerless to do anything about it.
Shortly before he was discharged from the hospital, I came into his room, and sat beside him, bent over and kissed him on the fore head and told him how he got here.
”I loved you lawani, I gave up my womanhood for you, I gave up my sanity and my humanity for you, I gave you my life, and all you gave me in return was horror and sorrow, this was no accident my dear husband, remember when I served you breakfast in bed, after that night when you chocked me and turned me into a common whore, that night made me realize no amount of love was worth all the abuse, so I slipped some pancuronium bromide into your coffee, don’t bother asking how I got it, desperate times called for desperate measures, but you were too blind and proud to realize something was wrong with you, I watched you fall, and with every crack of your bones it was like a chain being broken from my life, I put the bag over your head for just the right amount of time to knock you out, you see lawani I had done my research, killing you was going to be too easy for you, so I did this instead, and well I guess mother luck was on my side, I want you to re-live the horror you put me through these past 5 years, I want you to have a taste of hell, before you actually go there, you are my dear husband, ”for better or for worse” remember”?
Thank you for giving me keji, she made it all worth it, you are nothing but an animal lawani, a coward, a vile being, and I will savor every moment of your pain and suffering, I will watch you soil yourself, and I will watch you be the helpless little man you really are, your tears will be like nectar to me, and your pain will be like cold water on my skin”.
I walked out of the room……..and signed his discharge papers.
These days life has returned back to normal, keji is growing up healthy and strong, my ad agency is doing very well, I don’t look over my shoulder anymore, I still have nightmares once in a while, but I know it will pass, as for lawani, he is kept upstairs with his nurse who attends to him, and every now and then I walk up to his room and stare at him for minutes, I smile and walk away.
My name is Ifeoluwa ,and that was my story.
Written by Arome Ameh ( The Priest)
Read part 1 HERE
Read part2 HERE
Read part3 HERE
Each time i returned to him, my decision was confirmed as a good one, because i was rewarded not just with a temporary peace, but with the return of the man i’d fallen in love with. “We’d have this honeymoon period where he was nice to me again. I couldn’t help myself; I fell for it,”.
Lawani would come straight home from work, sometimes with flowers in hand, “and we’d have family time. He’d crack us up and laugh. Or we’d work around the house…all the things that happen in a normal home.”
Most important, He doted on Me. There were date nights followed by lovemaking, with Lawani holding me all night long. “I got enough of a glimpse of what a normal life could be like,” Look, he can be a family man; we can do this,” I’d say to myself.
Amarachi at this point was very upset with me,she was the only one I had told about the abuse,and she kept urging me to leave him,”do you want to wait until we come get you out of there in a body bag”she’d say,I was a woman still intent on saving my marriage,what amarachi advised only made me foolish,and I began to alienate myself from her and others,even my own parents,in my mind at the time they were the enemy,my justification was that they didn’t know lawani the way I did,they basically didn’t understand,my mum had visited once and discovered some swelling on my chin,she expressed concern and I simply told her we had an argument and I had provoked lawani too much,and when she insisted on having a talk with him,I was quick to remind her not to meddle in the affairs of my home.She in turn spoke to amarachi about it,and well amarachi being the hot head she was,came to my house and confronted lawani,oh how I wish she had’t done that,because after she left he felt very upset and humiliated,and yes you guessed right,I payed for it.
That night after amarachi had left, Lawani had tied my hands behind my back and punched me in the stomach for three hours. Afterward, I crawled to the bathroom and vomited blood,i managed to drive myself to the hospital,there I met the matron on duty,Matron Tamasi, I came in stooped and limping, showed the matron the evidence of my beating,my arms bruised black from wrist to elbow, a belly the color of a rotting plum.
He could’ve killed you!” the matron exclaimed. i knew she was right. And when, one month later, another fight began brewing in our house,the matron’s words reverberated in my head and prompted me to run across the street and call my friend to pick me up.
It was the third time I left.
I stayed away with Amarachi for about a month. But while my life was free from abuse, it wasn’t peaceful. Lawani was a constant: badgering me, surprising me when i least expected it, and — perhaps worst of all — threatening to discontinue our adoption process,don’t judge me,I wanted a child so badly so I was willing to put up with as much crap just to get a child,and somewhere in my mind,I believed with the arrival of the child,things might get better,I mean children are supposed to be blessings right? At the same time, he was trying to woo me back by asking me out on dates and by renovating our home exactly the way i’d wanted, even hanging up my cherished family photos. “I got a glimpse of the person I married: the romance, the hugs and sweet things.
Meanwhile, my friend never complained about hosting me, but she were clearly on edge — especially when lawani would call to accuse her of breaking up his home. As time passed, I felt like a burden on amarachi. In despair, i went to a shelter to explore my options and was dismayed to learn it would only be able to house me for 30 days. “Then what?” I asked the counselor, who had no reply. I couldn’t see a way out.
Here I was with no job and no life. “And then here’s my husband, with our beautifully remodeled house and all the things from the life we had built, and he’s saying, ‘You can have all this if you come back,so i meekly called lawani to say i was moving back in — feeling “scared to death, sick to my stomach, frightened out of my mind, and hopeful that things were going to change” — i made note of a valuable lesson i’d learned.
My arrival back home was greeted with a very familiar “seize fire” regime,lawani was all over me,doting as usual and being the “perfect man”,but this time I was very careful not to be taken in by the his usual tricks and pageantry.
I would stare at him for a while and try to read him,he had mastered the art of switching himself on and off at will,it was like he had the jerkyl and hyde syndrome,one minute he was this big teddy bear,appeared not being able to hurt a fly,the next moment he’d transform into a rabid wolf,foaming at the mouth,treating me like prey,”yes that was the only logical way to describe my husband.
I woke up to lawani smiling over me,looking like a little boy in a toy store,he asked me to come downstairs,saying Christmas had come early this year,I put on my robe and followed him downstairs,and when I got downstairs I was stunned,my legs went limp,I half expected they would give out under me,sitting in the living room was a woman,but she was not alone,she was holding a little girl,she was 14months old,my heart skipped a beat,I turned and looked at him,he smiled and said “congratulations it’s a girl”.
The lady I later discovered was from an orphanage and lawani had pushed the adoption process faster and we had gotten this little girl,this little angel,this wonderful innocent human being,I took a step towards them and stopped to check myself as if to be sure I was’t dreaming,I moved closer,picked her up,held her close to me and turned to lawani and said “her name is Morenikeji-which means I have found a companion,he smiled and accepted the name,I refused to put her down,as if putting her down would be the end of life itself,it was a wonderful feeling,I didn’t care that I was not her birth mother,but the thought of her being my child was the best feeling I had in a very long time,once the documents were signed and the lady left,lawani and I took keji(shortened) upstairs and spent the whole day getting to know her.
Life seemed to stabilize for a while,so far this was the longest stretch of peace I had experienced in a while,lawani even agreed to let me start my own ad consulting agency,things were looking up,or so I thought.
Then the worst happened,I had a meeting with a client,he came in later than the agreed time,so I stayed out later than usual,after the meeting I raced home,because I had left keji with the nanny,immediately I drove into the house I saw lawani’s car parked outside,fear enveloped me,I tried to compose myself,I knew something was wrong,I walked into the house,the nanny was gone,lawani and keji were in the living room watching a cartoon on television,I started to talk when lawani dismissed me with his hand,I made my way to the kitchen,everywhere was spotless,my heart was racing,I thought it was going to explode in my chest,I made my way to the bedroom to change,and when I came out I saw lawani taking keji to bed.
I went downstairs and waited for lawani,and while I waited for him to come back down I said a short prayer “O lord my father,if what I am passing through is not from you,have mercy on me,deliver me,save me,have mercy on me”.
Lawani walked calmly into the living room,sat across from me,stared directly at me and he lips parted and the words I dreaded came out,”where have you been”,I began explaining what had transpired during my meeting and what had caused the delay,he seemed to be getting relaxed up until the point I mentioned the client was a man,his eyes went dark and he jumped up, and in a split second he was beside me,and before I could blink he had hit me across the face,the impact sent me tumbling over,he pulled me up by my hair and punched me in the face,I stumbled over again,begging him to stop,this enraged him the more,he called me a harlot,and hit me again,this time I tasted blood,suddenly from the corner of my eye I saw him pick up something from the table,he struck my head……………..i passed out.
Written By Arome Ameh (The Priest)
You can view PT1 HERE
You can view PT2 HERE
I left the hospital on my own, without notifying anyone, even lawani.I called a friend outside lagos and she offered to accommodate me, I was really messed up, I was angry, sad, scared and confused all at the same time,and I could not bring myself to tell amarachi, my childhood friend what had happened,mostly because I could not believe it myself,how was I going to tell her my husband beat me up,ruptured my womb,and killed our unborn baby.
I finally summoned up enough courage and told amarachi what had happened,but I was careful to leave out a lot of details,amarachi was enraged and urged me to stay as long as I needed,I had a lot of missed calls and text messages from family members and also from lawani himself,my mum was getting very worried so amarachi had to inform her of my whereabouts,unfortunately lawani was informed too,I don’t really blame them,they did’t know what was going on.
I cowered in amarachi’s bedroom closet, practically afraid to breathe. I knew my husband, lawani, would come looking for me sooner or later, and now he’d finally arrived. Have you heard from her? I heard lawani ask amarachi,who feigned ignorance.
In reality, i had been hiding out there for 4 days, ever since the incident with lawani,i had spent the previous couple of days figuring out what to do next.
Now, from the darkness of the closet, i listened as lawani began to cry. I don’t know where she is, he wept to my friend. I’m so worried. The sound of lawani’s sobbing gave me satisfaction — but also flooded me with sympathy.
He sounded so miserable.
I was flattered to realize how devastated he was by my leaving; it was proof that he really did care. I returned home the next day.
Yep, I went back for more,It wouldn’t be the last time. Over my 3-year marriage to lawani, i fled again and again, with each return plunging me into more horrifying abuse.
Let’s see: I’ve been gagged, tied up, and beaten. Stripped naked in the house.
I’ve had a gun pulled on me, and knives held to my throat. The abuse got pretty wicked. And yet, despite the violence — which was so extreme that a nurse once warned me, “On a danger-level scale of one to 10, you’re an 11” — but I kept going back.
You might wonder why on God’s green earth I kept going back,put your self in my shoes,I married lawani as a woman,less than a year into our marriage,I lost my pregnancy and also the major component that defines me as a woman,I lost the very essence of motherhood to the man I loved,after the incident lawani and I had a long deep talk,he begged and apologized for what he had done,looking deep into his eyes,he was genuinely sorry,he even convinced me we could adopt a child,he spoiled me at the slightest opportunity,and yes being a human being I gradually began to forget .
He made me quit my job,reason being that he wanted me to adjust to the role of home maker in preparation for the arrival of our so called adopted child,on the surface it appeared to be a genuine reason,but he was slowly isolating me.
Lawani began making excuses for not coming home right after work, sometimes staying out all night drinking.
Stranded at home,i burned with resentment and hurt. “We did everything together ,at some point we were best friends.But gradually, he basically disappeared.
Lawani was not much fun to be around anymore: He needled Me about what i had done each day — whom i had seen, what we’d discussed — peppering our conversation with barbs, telling me that the dinner I had cooked was awful, calling me fat and dumb.
One night, Lawani surprised me by coming home early from a party. “What, the party wasn’t good enough for you?” I asked jokingly. Lawani backhanded me across the face. “What I do is my business,” he snarled.
“It was like he was talking to a dog. He ordered me to apologize for smarting off”.
I stared at him, my cheek stinging. I was filled with shock, fear — and also an overwhelming shame. Here was the man i loved, whose regard for me was so important, and now he was looking at me with contempt, I just wanted this ugly moment to end, to make the hurt and fear and humiliation go away. And so, although i knew i had done nothing wrong, i apologized. It took at least an hour of groveling to convince lawani i was truly sorry. “All right, I’ll forgive you this time,” lawani wearily said to me.
Then he led me into the bedroom for makeup sex. “I had to turn off my brain to get through it.
In the morning, lawani was back to his playful self — cracking jokes while we dressed for church, looking handsome as he combed his hair into a neat wave, I smeared foundation onto my bruised cheek and resolved to move on, after all, i rationalized, i wasn’t going to leave. i still loved him and was going to stick it out — if not for my own sake, then for the sake of our marriage. “I wanted the best for us,and our soon to be adopted child.
This decision may seem hard to fathom, but in fact, i was using an emotional logic many of us can relate to.
In any relationship, we try to make things work out, you later look back and say, I wish I’d broken up with him sooner. So i kept the episode to myself. I certainly didn’t want anyone to know the truth about me now: that i was the kind of woman who’s got slapped and stayed.
Shame is a huge factor, modern women are meant to be independent, and if someone does something like that to you, it’s over.
No one wants to be known as the woman who puts up with it.”
I assured myself the worst was over. It wasn’t: Lawani began accusing Me of all manner of sins — lying, cheating, not serving his meals quickly enough — and his slaps turned to all-night beatings.
His favorite thing was to sit on my chest and hold a pillow over my face, he’d scold me, “If you hadn’t done this, I wouldn’t have to punish you.” i heard his message loud and clear.
I was to blame for the violence; peace would be restored if only i would submit to his demands. So i did my best. “I still loved him, and I was sure I could fix this.
So I tried to be the perfect wife.
In case you missed part one, view it here Jaws Of Death- The Ifeoluwa Story PT1
Also kindly view my press release HERE
Written By Arome Ameh (The Priest)
I woke up with a start, I felt constrained ,I couldn’t move, I knew my eyes were open, but I couldn’t see anything, suddenly I began to panic, a deep seeded fear arose from within me, the first thing that came to my mind was death, was I dead? Was I in a small confined box? What was happening,i tried to move my wrists and feet, but it was difficult, with every jerk I felt a sharp pain, like something cutting into my skin, then I realized I was tied up, and once again another wave of panic enveloped me, why was I tied up, suddenly I heard the door open and the lights came on, the rays of the light hit my eyes and this made me squint, he stood above me, fire beaming from his eyes, an object in his hand, I couldn’t make out what it was, suddenly he bent over and spat in my face, he emptied some liquid on my chest and my crotch, from the smell I realized it was alcohol, he put a knife to my neck, then he raped me.
My name is Ifeoluwa, and I am about to let you into my world, well my world as it was before now.
Life wasn’t always this messed up, I had dreams and aspirations, no woman or man goes into a marriage with the mind set of being unhappy,Lawani and I met under normal circumstances, not a fairy tale, but it was nice, we worked together in the same ad agency and we spent a lot of time together as colleagues first, then friends and slowly it graduated into a real relationship, he never showed signs of aggression, we dated for about 7months before he asked me to marry him, and I immediately said yes without hesitation.
“Thinking back now, I should have probably hesitated, set him on fire and took to my heels”.
I guess the problems started 4months into our marriage, well I wouldn’t call it a problem because everything was OK, we had everything we needed and wanted, and we had a baby on the way, but lawani was just different, he complained about everything, even the smallest things, he complained about my cooking, my hair do, sometimes he complained when I even touched him, initially I would ask and ask what the problem was, but then he’d fly into a rage and storm out of the house, bear in mind these were just mini tantrums, but the first major one happened on the 3rd of October 2005.
We just got back from the hospital,because I had pains all through the night,we left the house quite early to see the doctor because I was worried about the baby,well the doctor confirmed I was OK and just needed bed rest for a couple of days,well we got home and immediately lawani demanded for something to eat,naturally I was not myself,my hormones were raging,I had nausea and I just couldn’t go anywhere near food,so I simply told him to fix himself a plate,stating why I couldn’t do it,and without warning he slapped me on the face,and I hit my head on the center table,he just went off,saying a lot of things,said he had been watching me,and was disgusted at how lazy I had become,if I knew then what I know now,I would have kept my mouth shut,I tried to stand up and explain why I said what I said,and he pounced on my punching and kicking,he kicked me so hard,I felt my womb rupture,he beat me up,he didn’t stop until he noticed I was bleeding,I passed out and I woke up in the hospital,he had already told the hospital staff a made up story about how we were attacked by robbers,he begged me to go with it,I was ashamed and so I went with it,I lost the baby,and the doctor later told me I had lost my womb.
Yes at this point a lot of you would be screaming blue murder,but keep your comments for now,my story is just unfolding.
Kindly view my press release HERE
Written By Arome Ameh (The Priest)