The first time I noticed my son’s odd habit was when I carried him on my legs in church, I realized he would become quite uncomfortable when my hand was not resting on his crotch, not his thigh, but his crotch, at first I thought maybe he was in pain, and I initially got worried, bit I later noticed his hands where going between my legs, this was not an unconscious action, he knew exactly what he was doing, because I brushed his hand away and gave him a stern look, but moments later I noticed he was doing it again, so I had to drop him off my legs and made him sit on a chair by himself, and did I mention my son was just 4 years old?
When we got home, I brought it to the attention of my husband, and in his usual manner he tried to make light of it, and even chastised me for even thinking our own son would be trying to get fresh with me, maybe he just misses you, he obviously doesn’t know what he is doing or where his hands where, my husband said, and after-all you are gone before he wakes up, and in bed before you return, so don’t blame the boy for trying to get as much attention from you as he possibly can, he added, but I was not convinced, what if my son had been exposed to pornography or had started hanging out with bad kids, I mean it’s never too early to start, especially in this day and age, it made me worry.
The next day I called his teacher on the phone and asked her to keep an eye on him, I told her I had noticed some changes in him and I didn’t want the damage to be irreversible, my son’s teacher assured me she would do her best to make sure he wasn’t exposed to the wrong set of people, satisfied with her response I laid all my worries to rest.
A few weeks later I noticed some strange with my son, I had taken my annual vacation and decided to spend it with my husband and son, on this day I was giving him a bath, and he kept on saying it’s mummy’s turn to suck on the straw, at first I thought it was a nursery rhyme, not until I saw him grab hold of his penis, and repeated the words he said earlier “it’s mummy’s turn to suck the straw”, and while he held his penis, I noticed it was getting erect, now don’t get me wrong, I have noticed his erection before, in these cases it usually meant he needed to wee-wee, or he was just waking up from a nap or something, in other words very involuntary actions, but this time I felt he was getting aroused, I was so embarrassed I stood up, brought him out of the bath and quickly wrapped him up in a towel, I did all this without looking at him.
I immediately told my husband, and this time I didn’t take it lightly, he saw the seriousness in me and together we grilled our little boy, until he opened up and told us where he learnt the song.
Sometimes you see a lot of things reported on TV and in the papers, and you say to yourself, do these things really happen, or are they stories fabricated by the media to get the attention of the masses, or for print media and soft sell magazines to make a quick buck, and if at all they happen, who would be so blind as to allow it escalate to such an alarming point. Well I was about to understand that these things actually happened, and it was happening to my little boy, the words I would never forget, after long minutes of question and some threats from my husband, he finally opened up, “aunty Tola said she likes to suck my straw and I should not let anyone suck it, and that I should always put my hands inside her pants because it makes her happy”.
I collapsed on the floor, when I heard my son say those words, at first I didn’t believe him, but I realized how on earth a four year old child, would come up with such a story, I stared at my husband, he stared back at me, we were both speechless, and our son stood between us, weeping, I instinctively pulled him close and hugged him tight, and silently blamed myself for not noticing earlier.
We stormed his school, and went straight to the principal’s office, where we explained everything to him and even got our son to tell him exactly what he had told us, the principal was quite upset and summoned aunty Tola to his office immediately, she denied everything, blaming everything my son had said on him having a very active imagination, at this point my husband was hot with rage, and he began threatening to involve the police, and not until my husband actually brought out his phone and began dialing a number, aunty tola fell on her knees begging and crying, and proceeded to blame the devil, we all stared at her in bewilderment, what on earth would possess a full grown woman to sexually abuse a four year old boy, a child put in your care, to protect and nurture, you turn around and hurt, we called the police and she was arrested, I quit my job, and became a full time mum, what would be my gain, if I had all the wealth and ended up with a disturbed and abused child.
By Arome Ameh (The Priest)