Ese Walters…..Abuse?……Seriously?

And so it happened, one Ese Walter came out to accuse one pastor Biodun Fatoyimbo of one church called COZA of having a sexual affair with him, and also claimed some form of abuse in the process, well that word “abuse” struck me, I have read her article or confession or whatever you choose to call it, and honestly I really don’t see any form of abuse here.

The word has been used very loosely and I aim to correct an impression, from what I have read over and over again, there was no form of abuse on any level, the only time abuse ever came up was when she claimed to be drinking and smoking in excess to cover the guilt and shame she felt, and that was self-abuse, why would she claim abuse in this matter.

You had an affair with your pastor, you became guilty and in the beginning of your speech you decide to claim form of abuse? Seriously

Now let’s look at some excerpts of her story  

“While there, he sat on a reclining chair and asked me to come sit on his laps. This was a bit awkward for me and I froze for a moment as I asked why. He said he had told me to feel free with him and loosen up. I found myself strolling to sit on his laps. At that moment, I felt like a little girl who was experiencing something her mind couldn’t fathom. He asked me to kiss him and all I could think about was seeing him preach on the pulpit back in COZA Abuja, Nigeria, which was my home church. He again said ‘feel free Ese.’ And asked again, that I kiss him.

A few hours later, let’s just say, we were rolling under the sheets. It felt as though my mind had paused. I am not saying I was jazzed, (although it’s possible I was in some trancelike state and didn’t know it but I just was so afraid that I couldn’t say or think otherwise.) That was the beginning of this affair. A sexual affair that went on for a little over a week, DAILY!
I can hear somebody’s mind thinking, ‘well, you weren’t raped.” And I remember a pastor I opened up to when I couldn’t take all the mind games asking if I seduced him. No, I didn’t seduce him and no, I wasn’t raped but I felt trapped in this affair.”

If you noticed I underlined a word and a sentence, the word “asked” was used and there was no point she mentioned he ordered her to do anything, there was no mention of the use of force or if she was ever rough handled, she never made mention of him ever black mailing her, or using any form of intimidation, she found herself strolling to sit on his laps, the key word being strolled and not dragged, pulled or forced, and a few hours later, they were rolling under the sheets, she wasn’t pinned to the bed, gagged or taken by force, they were rolling under the sheets, and it went on for a little over a week.

Look, let’s get real here, where does abuse come into play, a sexual affair between two consenting adults cannot be termed as abuse, especially when there is no physical or mental evidence of any form of abuse.

I am not here to take sides with anyone, all I am here to say is simple, the lady claims to have had an affair with the pastor right? The pastor has not issued any counter claim, I doubt if he will, a simple change of heart, attack of conscience or maybe spite propelled her to release her story, flawed as it may be, we will never really know her genuine reason, I just want her to be mindful of her accusations, using the word abuse is a very strong and should not be used as a tool to draw sympathy and make you appear to be the victim, after all she contradicted herself on more than one occasion in her story.

My advice, if you are having a consensual sexual affair with someone you ought not be with, chances are eventually one or both of you will get burned, and in the case of one person getting burned and the other trying to move on, don’t use abuse as a yard stick to get your pound of flesh, if Ese Walters is claiming abuse, what will the children who were molested by their parish priest in Ireland claim,….. Murder?

On a parting note, use the right words in the right context, and stop seeking undue attention using trigger words like abuse, and before I forget, Ese Walters, and others out there, don’t sleep with your pastors, and pastors out there, your congregations are people looking up to you for salvation and not your personal harems.

By The Priest

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27 thoughts on “Ese Walters…..Abuse?……Seriously?

  1. Omo Langford says:

    This Ese Walters girl has “itchus” (I Mean issues). Have you seen her on Abuja Xfactor 2013? It’s on YouTube http://youtu.be/FLLdKYJexiw She can’t even sing and went with the most bodacious demeanour to disgrace herself on stage. She lied to herself that she could sing and probably win the xfactor! I believe in my opinion that she has credibility issues and a big time attention seeker. Could it be that she has come back from London and wanted to blackmail Pastor B and threatened to ruin his life? Whatever the case may be, this issue has dragged Pastor B on his knees to seek God more; warned we guys about the effects of Jezebelic infringements and prove that there is No Level of Grace that would shield a Man of God from “Alaroka”………And from the brother that said, “What goes on in Vegas should stay in Vegas”…you really cracked my up!

  2. Not a friend like Him says:

    I do not make comparism of aluu 4 and the duo refered to in your post. I only meant only witnesses to an occurrence which in most cases are the participants in the primary incidence can say what actually really transpired. Note that this is a matter to be decided by those people’s conscience as against their testimony. When one has truly experienced God’s mercy in any capacity it will not be difficult to see beyond actions. Whatever anyone chooses to say, we are still all restricted to opinion/perception. Only God can discern intention. I do not have any issue with what ese has written ditto with what the pastor did or hasn’t done. They are not accountable to me. I do not seat under the pastor’s ministry, ese is not my protege, I cannot assume any form of explanation for her action or inaction. This is not to say there aren’t those who are directly or indirectly affected by things alleged in her post. I say two things: abuse is not something you can define for people.
    Just the way it is difficult to define sin in the context of the natural. It can only be understood from the angle of the spiritual. Secondly I do not make any argument, only re-echoing these words: Do not judge. if anything its an admonition to all to keep personal faith. God is not mocked by the deeds or misdeeds of men. While men can earn and lose respectability by what they have done or not done, He still does not withdraw His grace. Which is more important? Grace or shame?

  3. Not a friend like Him says:

    I do make comparism of aluu 4 and the duo refered to in your post. I only meant only witnesses to an occurrence which in most cases are the participants in the primary incidence can say what actually really transpired. Note that this is a matter to be decided by those people’s conscience as against their testimony. When one has truly experienced God’s mercy in any capacity it will not be difficult to see beyond actions. Whatever anyone chooses to say, we are still all restricted to opinion/perception. Only God can discern intention. I do not have any issue with what ese has written ditto with what the pastor did or hasn’t done. They are not accountable to me. I do not seat under the pastor’s ministry, ese is not my protege, I cannot assume any form of explanation for her action or inaction. This is not to say there aren’t those who are directly or indirectly affected by things alleged in her post. I say two things: abuse is not something you can define for people.
    Just the way it is difficult to define sin in the context of the natural. It can only be understood from the angle of the spiritual. Secondly I do not make any argument, only re-echoing these words: Do not judge. if anything its an admonition to all to keep personal faith. God is not mocked by the deeds or misdeeds of men. While men can earn and lose respectability by what they have done or not done, He still does not withdraw His grace. Which is more important? Grace or shame?

  4. Not a friend like Him says:

    Dear friends, only the abused understands abuse. Most times you do not know it until much later. Its goes far beyond one act or any action. I daresay its spiritual. Only God can get you out when you are in that realm. Abuse has to do with a deep sense of betrayal of trust. It can only be discerned most part of the time by someone who has experienced the compassion of christ. This isnt about what was done or wasn’t done in this post. I am not in anyway bothered about the details as such. Solomon said there’s nothing new under the sun and so i do not deem it necessary to analyse the issue in the light of what was right and otherwise. God, the all knowing says not to judge. That suffices for me. We all need to understand grace is never earned but received. If david could receive grace and still be tagged a man after God’s heart; if the woman caught in d very act could be declared not guilty! Brethren, instead of picking up stones I think we should desire more to understand ‘grace’- something that no one qualifies for by any act of righteousness or otherwise.. Why has the bible said not to judge? Because that privilege is the preserve of the all knowing all seeing God. For most part of the time we were never witnesses to the case (e.g aluu 4) but we are quick to pick up stones. Moreso, in judging others (call it opinion or whatever else you like) we err and accrue the right to be judged ourselves. Lastly, we are admonished to take heed as to our standing in christ lest those of us who think they are grounded fall. Salvation is too personal to be analysed. It has to be worked out with great fear and trembling. Time is short!

    • ameharome says:

      Your comment is received in good faith
      You quote aspects of the bible that suits ur argument
      If you read the article,which I hope u did,you would note the major point simply stating not to “bare false witness”
      There was no abuse,I urge us all to stop using that term loosely,what trust was betrayed?
      The trust of sleeping with a married man?Adultery or
      The trust of sleeping with her pastor?
      No one is pointing out the obvious
      Do not compare this with aluu4 in any way thank you,the two incidents are too wide apart
      The only person whose trust was abused is the pastors wife
      God forgives yes,but it gives us no right to take undue advantage of it
      The pastor and the girl commited adultery and fornication
      They ought to seek the face of God for forgiveness and also seek for his wife’s forgiveness
      Instead of rubbing it in her face with he said,she said stories.
      Thank you.

  5. adyemi Olalekan says:

    Wonders will never stop happening

  6. kingsync says:

    The Priest, Nice Piece. What is still mind buggling is ‘why did Ese come out with this story’. Is it bcs she doesn’t want to go back to her bad ways or is it that she wanted a continuation and was refused, we might neva know. In my humble Opinion, a well meaning person would have tried to do this confession inhouse to avoid a scandal, but we can see that it looks like a plot of a person on d loosing side, drowning and just fighting to hold on to something.It might be a lie, but I strongly believe that dis is not d confession of a repentant heart but looks like d man of God had a change of heart and she didn’t like it. Another thing is dat it might be her that seduced d man of God. Just saying.

  7. OOJ says:

    I really thought he had heard I was doing something I shouldn’t while in London but tried my best to focus on the conversation instead of my straying thoughts. In the light of the above, Ese Walter has been a runs type, One cannot live the life that is not her own! Joseph fled bc fornication is not in his psychology considering the level of authority in Kings palace, Pastors authority compared to that in d palace? Ese could had fled. May God give us d courage to change whatever can b change

  8. tinuke says:

    let it be known,that ese walters is a silly girl,with no self control

  9. Misan says:

    Very well Said. You hit it right there.

  10. voice says:

    Having read all,judge not.is my piece of advice.God forgive her and pastor and we all.

  11. God bless u Bro for this write up. What they both did is wrong before God and I still ask the question ”what was the motive behind her confession?” Every one of us will answer to God for every thing done. Thank you again for this My Brother. More Grace.

  12. kay says:

    I sincerely don’t think she is repentant or feeling guilty. My opinion is she felt what started then will continue when she came back to Nigeria but she was disappointed. She felt used so she decided to get even by going public…how childish. Its not like she was a virgin and I m very sure she has had countless boyfriends that she has had sex with, why didn’t she come out with all the ”sexcapades” that took place then.

    She claims the victim. The true victims here are the Pastors wife, kids and church members that look up to him.

  13. ameharome says:

    Pls let’s keep the comment clean
    And directed at the write-up
    No name calling
    Thanks

  14. lulu says:

    Clearly,a lot of u don’t know the definition of abuse
    @jimi,u want to compare abuse in the catholic church with this?
    A woman of low moral value has sex with her pastor,uses her credit card to book a hotel room when his didn’t work
    Spread her legs and allowed a married man inside her
    And u dare say she was abused?
    What planet are u from pls
    How was she abused
    Or was she not aware of his position or marital status
    Its folks like you who encourage immorality in this world
    U r not addressing her fornicating ways
    U r trying to justify her stupidity
    Go and learn what abuse means and don’t say things u know nothing about
    I was raped by a priest
    So don’t say anything bout abuse

  15. chioma says:

    Ese walters,just a simple case of a woman that didn’t get what she wanted abeg
    When she was rolling in the sheets,she didn’t know she would reveal everything abi
    The girl wanted more,and pastor refused
    So she decided to become a talk talk
    Change ur slutty ways
    Stop opening ur legs to men abeg
    Well written piece

  16. Good choice of word and am glad av got someone else to share my point of view….i have a message for Ese Walter no one said you didn’t have set with part Biodun but you had a choice then to either walk away or do it. I think you liked it and wanted it but now he probably repented and moved on and now you think u can get ur pound of flesh this way….Omo wake up, God will forgive us all but what do you want people to percieve you as, Heroine or Villian…be realistic….

  17. jimi says:

    I beg to differ.I agree she is not a child,but with the way Pastors are regarded as demi-gods(person in a position of authority,especially when playing the “Touch not my anointed card). I regard this as abuse.
    Quite a lot of manipulation involved here if you ask me.

    • ameharome says:

      Yes ur point is noted,but she said she was abused by him,and I ask how?
      I agree he abused his office,but how did he abuse her
      She knew he was married
      And she knew he was a pastor
      So how did he abuse her?

      • jimi says:

        He had a level of authority over her(which she gave him as a pastor,HER pastor) he used this authority to manipulate her and get his way.That is abuse!!!

      • ameharome says:

        Abuse of office yes
        Not abuse of the individual

      • jimi says:

        It is the same way Priest in the catholic church abuse full grown up women Nuns under their authority based on a doctrine of submission.

  18. I call it a total Confession and not an Abuse, I believe God has made her to realise her mistakes for getting into it. She felt some guilt that is the reason she she voiced out! Ese Walter welldone for the courage to speak out atleast, inrespective of whatsoever you called it.lol,

  19. moskeda says:

    Gbam!!! You couldn’t have said it better. She had no right to claim to be the victim even though she was dealing with someone who was using his position to get into her pants.
    She was supposed to show full remorse for her actions as she wasn’t forced. There was no abuse here at all. None whatsoever. The only abuse is the MOG abusing his office.
    I also see nothing in her exposing him; after all, it was about two adults having sex. So, as the collar was put aside for the sexual act, the collar should be put aside for the exposure

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