I met him on badoo, yes badoo, the network where people upload pictures and deceive themselves, he looked cool enough, at least he didn’t have a cheesy profile and didn’t claim to own the taj mahal, he was just an average guy, looking to chat and just while away time, well at that time that’s what I thought.
I was still going through his profile when he sent me a message, clearly he had taken the same interest in me, I hesitated at first, but then I decided to reply him, he was very polite, but I didn’t fall for it right away, I have had experiences with guys online, most of them pretend to be nice and civil at first, until they begin to ask for pictures of your breasts and privates. We chatted for about 10mins and he decided to log off, this was a first for me, because usually I always leave in the middle of a conversation, to keep them wanting more, now I know what that felt like.
Now I know we just chatted for 10mins, but it felt like we had been old friends, yes I know how cliche’ it sounds, but that’s just the plain fact, anyway I logged off too, but about 30mins later, I was back online, silently hoping he had logged on while I was away, and left a message, but to my dismay, there was no message from him. I logged off again, and repeated the process about 4 times that day and finally decided to control myself, I was lonely, I didn’t have a boyfriend, I didn’t just break up, I just didn’t have a boyfriend, don’t know why, but no one had ever asked me out, don’t get me wrong, I have male friends, but nothing intimate, I have had a few flings, but none ever stuck around long enough, it was always wam bam, thank you sam and they were gone before I could even put on my panties.
A few days passed and no message from him, I caught him online once, but while I was sending him a message I realized he had logged off, now it really hurt me, which made me ask myself why I was so bothered about this guy, I didn’t even know his real name, so I decided to forget about him, and move on with my life.
I carried on, still hooked on to the site, checking out profiles and dreaming up stupid fantasies, suddenly there he was, he had sent me a message, my first impulse was to log off, but while my head was logging off, my hands were already replying his message, we chatted for hours, it was fun, refreshing, intriguing, I became drawn to him, I asked for his phone number, but to my surprise he refused giving it to me, he simply said the time was not right yet, well I felt very insulted and I didn’t hesitate to let him know, he just simply apologized and told me goodnight. I was fuming, I decided I would never speak to him again, but deep down inside I knew I would speak to him if he spoke, so I just vented, cursed and went to bed.
After that day, we became regular chat mates, we talked about everything, but the most frustrating part was I still couldn’t read him, I didn’t know what he wanted, any regular guy would have made his intentions known by now, but not him, and he had this air of mystery around him, I guess that was what drew me to him, so I decided to make the first move, told him I wanted to hear his voice, this time he didn’t hesitate, he gave me his number and I immediately called him, he had a very calm voice, and I was smitten, in addition to what I felt already, I called him almost all the time, I sent text messages, and did all I could to stay in constant touch with him, at this point I realized our roles had been reversed, I was the guy and he was the lady, I would call and call, sometimes he would pick up, sometimes he wouldn’t, but I would still call, I would send long messages, and all I would get as a reply was a simple ‘ok’.
I decided I wanted to meet him, I craved definition, I wanted to finally put a face to the voice and all the messages I arranged for us to meet at the shopping mall, he agreed without hesitation, suddenly I felt sick in my stomach, was it regret or just sheer excitement, time would tell.
The agreed day for our date was here, I was falling over myself, I had trouble deciding what to wear, I wanted to make a good impression, but I didn’t want to appear to slutty or desperate, I arrived at the mall I bit early, I waited for close to an hour before he arrived, and when he arrived, I wasn’t disappointed, he was handsome, suave, and very calm, and a perfect gentleman, if he was still pretending up until this point, he must have been a good actor, and oh yes he was.
We had a swell time, talked about anything and everything, the day was gradually coming to an end, and suddenly I was becoming depressed, he noticed this and promised to take me out on a date on Saturday, I was happy, and although Saturday was just 2 days away it felt like an eternity, he stopped a cab for me, and gave me a kiss in the cheek, I wished it was more, but I had to be content with what I got.
The next 2 days were very interesting, he called me every chance he got, and my message inbox was filled with very romantic messages, finally some attention, and I was loving it, every moment of it. He hadn’t sent any sexual messages, or suggested anything sexual, all he did was call to know how I was, and tell me how deeply he felt for me, I was smitten beyond reason.
Saturday morning, I was so excited, I couldn’t eat, I tried on several clothes, I was determined this time to show off my features, I wanted him to see all he had at his disposal, and all he needed to do was ask, my plan worked, from the moment he picked me up, I caught him checking me out on several occasions, I was enjoying every moment of it. Our date was heavenly, he took me to a lake side restaurant, we ate, talked and laughed, and when we were done he offered to drop me off at home, I didn’t want to be too forward, so I agreed, but on our way back to my place he asked if I wouldn’t mind going back to my place, at least just to know where he lived, I agreed and off we went.
Most times we are blinded by lots of factors, and these don’t allow us look out for warning signs, on our way to his place, his phone rang, and suddenly he pulled the car over, he genuinely looked upset, and went on to tell me, he just received a call from his gate man, informing him the house had been fumigated, so instinctively I asked what the plan was, and he said he had to check into a hotel , then he offered to drive me home, well I didn’t want to seem ungrateful, so I decided to go with him to the hotel, I wanted to play the loyal girlfriend, after all it wouldn’t speak well of me if I abandoned him now, so off we went.
There was an awkward silence at the hotel, I was quite tense and I guess he was too, because he kept walking around checking everything over and over again, I took off my shoes and put on the tv and sat on the bed, I watched him walk around and told him to come sit by me, he hesitated at first, but then he sat beside me, he took my hands and kissed me, I responded, he pulled back, looked into my eyes and told me he hoped it would last, then he kissed me again, I totally melted in his arms, I threw all caution to the wind, and allowed him have his way with me, I didn’t care, all I cared about was that time, I would care tomorrow, but today, I was with him.
He made love to me, over and over again, it was intense, maybe because I had not been treated with so much care and passion, I didn’t care that we didn’t have protection, all I wanted was him, looking back now, it was a stupid thing to do. We both fell asleep, the next morning he gently woke me up with a kiss, he ordered some breakfast for us, we ate silently, we didn’t talk about the previous night, I went in to take a shower, he joined me, and we had sex right there in the bathroom, this time it was urgent, as if he was having me for the first time, I loved it, he gave me a good mix, gentle the previous night, hard the following morning, as he had me, I thought to myself, where had he been all my life. I was so happy, in my mind I had found my Mr. Right, we got dressed and he drove me home, we were chatting like an old couple, he stopped at my hostel gate, came out and opened the door for me, kissed me on the cheek and promised to call me once he had sorted his house out, I watched him drive off, with a massive smile on my lips, I was happy.
I waited for his call all day, I waited for his message, I didn’t get anything, I fought the urge to call him, didn’t want to appear too needy, after all he had told me he would call, so I waited and waited some more, but no call came in, I was beginning to get worried, so I called his number, it was switched off, my heart skipped a beat, but I calmed myself, maybe his battery had died, maybe he didn’t have access to his house yet, so I waited, I lay on my bed waiting, I fell asleep with my phone in hand.
I woke up the next morning, immediately checked my phone, no missed calls, no text messages, I tried his line again, still switched off, I started to panic, I immediately logged on to badoo, lots of messages, but none from him, I tried to check his profile, and my heart sank with the message I saw, “USER PROFILE HAS BEEN DELETED”,I immediately broke down crying, I was confused, what was happening, I tried his number again, still switched off, tried to check his profile again and got the same message, it was like he had vanished into thin air.
I spent the whole day in bed, hoping blindly that he would call, nothing, I tried his number and it was still switched off, my roommates asked what was wrong, I was too ashamed to tell them anything, I still didn’t want to believed I had been played, so I waited, and waited some more, I eventually slept off.
The next day I woke up, tried his number, checked his profile, everything was still the same, I decided to try to find him, I found my way back to the hotel, I tried to see if I could get any information, I lied that I had forgotten my wallet in the room, they checked the registration details, the room was booked in just one name, victor, that was his online name, that was the name I called him, the phone number was the one I had, I was let into the room, I found nothing, I left there, and tried to trace my way to his place, I got to the point where we turned around, I walked around for some hours hoping to see if he would drive by, but slowly I began to realize he wasn’t going to drive by, slowly I began to realize I had been played, I fell for a scam, I had sex with a phantom, how else could I explain what had happened to me.
I went back to school, ashamed, depressed, and feeling very dirty, I didn’t tell anyone what had happened, when asked about him, all I did was say he was fine. I tried his number a couple more times, and checked his profile, everything remained the same, the days turned to weeks, and the weeks turned to months, I was beginning to forget, until I fell ill.
I woke up one night shivering from a serious fever, I was burning up, my roommates rushed me to the school clinic, I was, I was placed on admission, the doctor insisted on running some tests before he started treatment, I was given an injection to help with the fever. A couple of hours later he came back with the results, he asked to talk to me privately, my roommates left the room, and the words came out like blows, “YOU ARE PREGNANT”, I was too shocked to speak, I was 19 (nineteen), and pregnant for a man I met online, nowhere to be found, my life was over, how was I going to explain this to my parents, if I was pregnant, what assurance did I have that I hadn’t contracted a disease from him, there were so many questions, and no answers, I was pregnant, who was I going to blame.
I met a man online, I acted like a common slut, and he left me with a pregnancy I didn’t know what to do with, there was no excuse for what I had gotten myself into, no sympathy for my actions, if I am to carry this pregnancy to term, how was I going to explain the circumstances, how would I tell this child who the father was or is.
There is no happy ending here, just the mistakes of an overzealous young girl.
By Arome Ameh (The Priest)
N-B- Please Leave Your Thoughts and Comments, Thank You