Girl jumps out of auto in Hyderabad to escape molester

Hyderabad: A 22-year-old girl was injured as she jumped out of a moving autorickshaw after a man allegedly tried to molest her in Hyderabad, police said on Wednesday.

The girl, working as a software engineer, hired a shared autorickshaw to Ameerpet from Madhapur hi-tech city at around 7.45 pm on Tuesday, a senior police official of Cyberabad Police Commissionerate said.

AutorickshawWhile three-four of the co-passengers got off at their destinations on way, a man seated with her tried to hold her hand when the vehicle was near Gachibowly. The autorickshaw driver also took another direction instead of proceeding towards Ameerpet, he said.

Realising that something was amiss, the girl jumped out of the autorickshaw and sent an SMS to her friend, who alerted police, the official said.

A passerby, who found the girl lying on the road near Gachibowly, took her to a nearby hospital and he too called the police.

The girl suffered head injuries and was admitted to a hospital, he said.

She was today shifted to a corporate hospital where her condition was stated to be out of danger, the official said, adding that a case has been registered and efforts were on to nab the man and the autorickshaw driver.


Marital Rape

scaredRape is Rape.

Marital Rape is Rape. Intimate Rape is Rape. Stranger Rape is Rape. Force-only Rape is still rape!

Rape is rape regardless of the relationship between the rapist and the victim. It can be a total stranger; someone you recognise by sight, but have never really communicated with; someone you know superficially, a neighbour or a colleague; a friend, a boy-friend or a former boyfriend; a live-in partner, or a former partner; someone you are married to or have been married to in the past.

Rape is a very personal and intimate traumatic experience. Our experiences of and reactions to rape may differ widely, and although there are many similarities in the way that we feel about being the victim of rape, regardless of the relationship between us and the rapist, there are differences between stranger and intimate rape, and in this section I am trying to describe and offer an understanding of some of the specific problems regarding marital rape (or rape by an intimate) as opposed to stranger rape.

Please note that in this page I refer to wives and husbands, however, it can be understood to refer to all rapes perpetrated by an intimate. Also, I am only looking at rape and sexual assault on women, since this is by far the most common situation, though rape and sexual abuse also occur too frequently in same-sex relationships.

The main differences between stranger rape and marital rape

Stranger rape is usually a one-off, someone you don’t know, with whom you don’t share any experiences or history. When the assault happens, there can be no doubt as to what is happening: that it is Rape (though even in such situations the victim will often wonder what she has done to precipitate the assault and will blame herself). Inmarital rape the circumstances are very different. It is – quite apart from a physical and sexual violation – a betrayal of trust. Here is a person whom you thought you knew intimately, with whom you share a history, a home and quite often children. Here is a person whom you have made love to on a frequent basis often over many years, with whom you have shared your most intimate secrets and fears, and whom you believe to love you, want the best for you, who would never intentionally hurt you. Marital rape is so destructive because it betrays the fundamental basis of the marital relationship, because it questions every understanding you have not only of your partner and the marriage, but of yourself. You end up feeling betrayed, humiliated and, above all, very confused.

“When it is the person you have entrusted your life to who rapes you, it isn’t just physical or sexual assault, it is a betrayal of the very core of your marriage, of your person, of your trust.” (anon)

Also, while stranger rape is a sexual act of violence outside (as in: apart from) the victims normal relationships, marital rape has to be understood in the context of an abusive relationship, that is, in the context of emotional and possibly physical abuse.

One of the differences between stranger and intimate rape is that stranger rape will nearly always involve a certain degree of physical violence (one notable exception to this is rape involving the date rape drug) while a lot of cases of marital rape will involve coercion and only enough force to control the victim, known as ‘force-only’ rapes (see below).

Another problem victims of marital rape face is that such instances are rarely a one-off, but a repeated if not frequent occurance. This can be a huge issue to the victim, because she will feel as though she has somehow ‘asked for it’ by staying or putting herself in the situation where it can happen again. Also, once it has been tolerated on a number of occassions, she may question her right to then act upon it.

Different types of rape

Marital rape is generally sub-divided into three categories: those rapes which involve a degree of violence, those that use enough force to control the victim, known as ‘force-only’ rapes, and sadistic rapes.

  • Violent rape occurs, as the name suggests, when the abuser uses enough physical violence to cause injury to the victim, apart from any injuries due to the rape itself, ie injuries to the genital area or breasts. Examples would include the husband punching his wife or injuring her with a knife – the rape being part of a violent assault, or the violence being a part of the rape. Many abusers will also force their wives to submit to sexual acts after a physical assault, either to prove her forgiveness or to further intimidate and humiliate her – and if the wife should refuse such an act, even the threat of further violence (or a previous experience!) will soon ensure her compliance.
  • ‘Force-only’ rape is usually understood to include only enough force used on the part of the abuser to control or hold his wife in position, eg holding down the victim by her arms or wrists to prevent her defending herself or escaping. This form of rape is common where there is a larger contrast between the physical size and strength of abuser and victim, or in abusive relationships where physical violence is infrequent or non-existent (insofar as one does not categorise sexual assault itself as a violent act). In most cases of ‘force-only’ rape, coercion plays a large part. The victim may also be so confused and numbed by constant emotional abuse, that she simply does not know how to act or react when sex is forced on her.
  • Sadistic rape is sometimes also present. This tends to indicate that in addition to the rape itself, the victim is either forced to comply with or undergo deeds designed to further humiliate her. Examples of this would be the abuser/rapist urinating on the victim, acting out a fantasy of torturer, or using other object during a rape. Sadistic rape may or may not involve further violence. Some people consider buggery as a sadistic form of rape, since its effect on victim is often particularly humiliating.

It is difficult defining clear-cut lines between the different types of rape, since rape can involve any of the above or a combination of them. For instance, the rapist may use coercion tactics and enough force to control the victim initially, but then use increased violence if the victim struggles. Many victims of marital rape feel guilty for not having struggled more, or have been told that if they did not try to physically fight their abuser and thereby sustained injuries, that it is not ‘real rape’. This can be extremely distressing and add to the trauma already experienced. What has to be remembered is that when you are living with your abuser, you are often very finely tuned to him, employing numerous coping mechanisms to limit the damage to yourself: you may realise either consciously or subconsciously that if you struggle, he is likely to get violent or take his anger out on you in other ways.

“I tried to push him off me, so he grabbed both my arms and flung them above my head, held them there and continued … He held my arms by the wrists with one of his hands and held them so tight and with so much of his weight on them, that they really hurt and then started losing any sensation. When he finally let go I did not make the same mistake again …” (anon)

Other reasons a woman may not fight back are so as not to disturb children sleeping nearby, thereby risking them witnessing the rape; shock or confusion at what is happening which paralyses her; and real concern for her abuser, which results in her not wanting to do anything which may harm or injure her rapist even to the detrement of herself.

Research seems to indicate that in the context of an abusive relationship, the woman is most likely to be subjected to rape towards the end of the relationship, or after she has left, though several women have reported that their boyfriends raped them at the very beginning of their relationship – which is reminiscent of the ancient custom of capturing and raping women to be able to claim them as wives. It would appear that where rape starts in an established relationship, that rape is often used by an abuser when other control tactics, such as isolation or emotional abuse are no longer sufficient to maintain his power and hold over her, or to punish her for either leaving or trying to leave. Only too often, this works.

The problem of defining marital rape as Rape

Many women who are victims of marital rape have great difficulty in defining it as such. The traditional idea that it is impossible for a man to rape his wife and that somehow, in taking our marriage vows we have abdicated any say over our own body and sexuality, basically denied ourselves the right to say ‘no’, is still prevalent amongst wives as much as amongst their husbands. A wife being raped will often question her right to refuse intercourse with her husband, and while she may realise that legally it now constitutes rape, there are many reasons which may prevent her from perceiving it in such a light.

We prefer to see it possibly as a communication problem (did I make it clear enough that I did not want intercourse tonight), we may see it as an act for which the man is not fully responsible due to his nature (men have a biological need to have sex and if there is a woman next to them in bed when they are in the mood they just cannot help it), we may see it as a misunderstanding (although I told him I didn’t want to, maybe I gave him the wrong signals somehow), we may have religious issues which question our right to refuse intercourse (I have got to submit myself to him and accept his will above mine as my Lord and Master).

Basically, as wives being raped by our husbands, we look for every reason, every excuse to deny it is Rape because we do not want to accept the alternative: it is Rape, he is hurting and humiliating us with intent, we can no longer trust him, turn to him in comfort, gain reassurance and protection from his company and our home is no longer safe.

Recognizing and Interrupting Abuse of Adults with Disabilities

disabledSadly, people with disabilities get abused, sometimes at the hands of people who help or care for them. Care providers and personal assistants, including family members and service providers (paid or unpaid) can be abusive. When abuse occurs, a disabled person’s personal health, safety and emotional well-being may be at risk, along with their ability to engage in daily life activities.

Who uses help or Personal Assistance Service (PAS)?

10 million disabled and elderly people in the United States use personal assistance services (PAS). PAS is one or morepeople helping a disabled person with tasks that they would do for themselves if they did not have a disability.

Who provides personal assistance service (PAS) to people with disabilities?

79% receive PAS services from unpaid, informal providers.

11% receive a combination of paid, formal services and informal services.

10% receive exclusively formal, paid services.

(Rutgers University Bureau of Economic Research, 1999).

What is Abuse?

Abuse or mistreatment of a disabled person is any behavior that is unwanted, hurtful, inappropriate, neglectful, frightening, insulting, or demeaning. It includes physical, sexual, verbal, emotional or financial mistreatment by anyone in a “helping” role.

Types of Abuse

Does a family member, attendant, or helper:

  • Get into personal stuff without permission?
  • Yell, scream, threaten or say insulting things? Make negative comments about the person’s disability?
  • Steal money, checks, credit cards, medication, or other personal belongings?
  • Show up for work drunk or high?
  • Neglect or ignore needs or withhold medication?
  • Pressure a person to eat fast or go to bed early so he or she can leave?
  • Prevent a person from controlling his or her wheelchair, phone or other equipment?
  • Control where someone goes, what they do, who they can see?
  • Gossip, threaten, blackmail or manipulate?
  • Hit, kick, slap, or hurt the person in any way, including rough handling?
  • Pressure or touch someone sexually in unwanted ways?
  • Keep a person from being as healthy or independent as he or she could be?


What Contributes to Abuse?

Both societal and interpersonal factors:

  • Disabled people are sometimes disrespected and discriminated against in our society.
  • Disabled people may not be believed or may have difficulty telling someone they are being abused because of their disability.
  • Services and resources may not meet their needs.
  • Lack of choice of providers so that someone who is not qualified is used.
  • Low wages for PAS workers mean fewer qualified people working and staying in the field.
  • Blaming the person or their disability for things that go wrong or are difficult.
  • Power struggles with a provider.

Tips to Reduce Abuse

For people with disabilities:

  • Give clear instructions to providers about what you need.
  • Expect to listen and to be listened to and respected by providers.
  • Speak up if you are unhappy with your care.
  • Learn about community resources.
  • Talk to other people with disabilities who use assistance.
  • Do criminal background checks on people you hire.
  • Have locks that can be easily changed.
  • Secure finances and banking systems to protect against theft.
  • Don’t put up with abuse – get help!

For Service Providers and Family Members:

  • Listen to and believe someone who shares that they are uncomfortable or unhappy with their care.
  • Do background checks on employees.
  • Have a plan for backup care in the event of caregiver burnout or illness.
  • Make sure the disabled person does not feel forced to keep a caregiver who is abusive.
  • Know that many people with disabilities are fully capable of managing their own personal assistance including hiring, training, supervising, and firing their own providers.
  • Offer support through challenging times in the PAS relationships. Be someone they want to talk to about disability and PAS.
  • Allow the disabled person a “reasonable right to risk” independent living. Overprotection can be abusive too.
  • Unnecessary institutionalization is illegal under the Americans with Disabilities Act. Disabled people who can manage their own care with reasonable support are legally entitled to Independent Living.

How to Help Someone Being Abused

If you suspect a person is being mistreated:

  • Approach the person alone in a relaxed setting (a confidential, safe space).
  • Stay calm, don’t panic.
  • Raise the issue by expressing your concern for their safety and well-being.
  • Respect their right to autonomy and self-direction, and affirm their competence and ability to live independently and with self-direction.
  • Offer to support this individual in handling the situation in his or her own way. Your primary resources include good listening, information about abuse prevention, and referral to community resources.
  • Offer to brainstorm resources, including different PAS support until the abusive situation is remedied.
  • Pressuring someone to act quickly, or a patronizing attitude, may undermine trust in you. You need to be patient to allow the individual to learn to take control of his or her own situation for the long range and develop new avenues of support. You may be challenged to modify your own standards of care, in consideration of his or her right to autonomy.

If you are concerned for someone’s immediate physical safety or survival:

  • If the individual appears unwilling or unable to take action on their own, or if the individual has a significant cognitive disability or dementia, you may need to contact the police or adult protective services without the individual’s consent.

If you are a mandated reporter, you are required by law to report an abusive situation. Certain professionals are required by law because of their job or role to report suspected or existing abuse.

  • Be aware that immediate removal of a PAS provider with no alternative plan may threaten a disabled person’s survival.
  • Check out your own thinking with skilled resource people who have knowledge of resources for the disabledcommunity.


427 Rape Cases Recorded In Lagos

realmendontrapeThe Lagos State Attorney- General and Commissioner for Justice, Mr. Ade Ipaye yesterday disclosed that 427 rape cases were recorded in Lagos state last year.
Briefing news men on the activities of the Ministry of Justice and the rising incidences of rape cases in the country, Ipaye said that Lagos State, through the Office of Public Defence, recorded 427 rape cases in 2012.

He urged parents and guardians in the state to give special attention to their children and wards by monitoring their movements and activities very closely.

He said   the major challenge being faced by the state was the inability of the affected parties to report rape cases to the authority.

According to the commissioner, the state has intensified its efforts towards prosecuting rapists and other criminals in the state, and urged parents and public to assist government by exposing the rapists wherever they are in the state.

“During the period under review, the office of the Public Defence intervened in the pathetic cases of an 11-year old girl who was allegedly defiled by a pastor. The pastor was alleged to have procured abortion for the girl three times in 2012. OPD promptly got the pastor arrested and he has since been charged to court. The growing incidence of rape and defilement of minors justify a warning to parents.
“A lot of these happen but the families affected always want to cover it up for some reasons best known to them. We don’t even know the large chunk of these cases because the people affected are not coming out. We just need to be more attentive to our children, especially the female ones,” he said

Ipaye however, said that in a bid to reduce congestion in prisons, the state government had tactically and creatively established non-custodian law which gives room for engaging offenders in public community services as penalty, adding that in January alone, 207 people underwent public services orders.

“These 207 individuals that could have increased the population of our prisons and aggravated the conditions there were addressed in other way. Able-bodied beggars and street traders are included in this category.

“We are now engaging the Ministry of Women Affairs and Poverty Alleviation with a view to referring appropriate cases for vocational training after they must have completed their period of community service. This will further encourage constructive engagement of our vibrant workforce and reduce the crime rate in our society,” he said.

Ipaye also disclosed that the state has 327 petitions in January alone and about 1,204 cases are ongoing in various courts.


S-H-O-C-K-E-R! 150 rape cases in 1 hour

IMG_6063At a time that South Africa and indeed the whole continent are engulfed in football, Rape cases are threatening to overtake and score more headlines than football itself. my earlier write-up, I had examined the dangers and the frequency at which girls, old women, grandmothers are raped in South Africa.

But more alarming statistics are coming up on rape, giving my beloved South Africa the inglorious title of the headquarters of Rape in the World.

Could you imagine that an average of 150 rape cases are committed in an hour? This staggering figure is an estimation of: The 144 rapes reported to the police every day. The Medical Research Council’s latest finding reveals that only one in 25 women in Gauteng reports rape. These two totals add up to 3 600 rapes a day.

The rage of Bredasdorp residents over the gang-rape, murder and mutilation of 17-year-old Anene Booysen is at the centre circle as many have condemned the gang-rape and murder of Anene.

Independent Newspapers visited Anene’s family at the Simunye RDP development outside Bredasdorp yesterday.

Wilma Brooks, Anene’s aunt, wept when the question of Anene’s injuries arose. After half a minute’s silence, she spoke.

“Her throat had been slit, all her fingers and both legs were broken, a broken glass bottle had been lodged in her, her stomach had been cut open… That which was supposed to be inside her body lay strewn across the scene where they found her.”

Anene was left for dead at a construction site near her home. It’s believed her attackers had followed her as she was walking home from a sports bar on Friday night. She was taken to hospital in Bredasdorp, transferred to Worcester and later to Tygerberg, where she died on Saturday afternoon.

Independent Newspapers found Anene’s mother, Corlia Olivier, at a relative’s house.

With tears in her eyes she spoke of her relationship with her daughter, who worked as a cleaner for Asla Construction.

“We were mother and daughter, but we were also best friends. She was so helpful – with her around I didn’t need a man in the house. She worked hard and helped to buy food, we shared everything.”

After years of separation due to financial difficulties, Olivier and Anene had been living together in their newly built RDP house for just two months.

“She was everything to me, and such a joyous person. I can’t recall that I ever lost my temper with her. She was just too sweet,” said Olivier.

On the morning after the attack Olivier visited her daughter at Otto du Plessis Hospital in Bredasdorp.

“From the moment I entered, I could hear her screaming: ‘Mother, mother please help me’ – without her knowing that I had come. I walked up to her bedside and saw what they had done to my girl.”

Mom and daughter shared their final words there, before Anene was transferred to Worcester.

Today Anene’s room remains as she left it: meticulously tidy, with Michael Jackson posters on the wall and flowers everywhere.

“At night when it gets quiet and I am alone is when I will miss her the most. We always used to joke that we don’t need a TV, because we had each other.

“I think I may have to get one now,” said Olivier.

I spoke to some girls on why they think that boys and men old enough to be their fathers indulge in this criminal act.  Dorothy said that those who commit rapes are animals, cowards.

“They don’t need to be brutal. If they ask nicely, girls will open up for them. After all, an average South African girl loves toi-toi”, she said.

SA girls are not like Nigerian girls. They are bold and willing to make friends and go all out to give and satisfy their partner.

It takes as little as buying beer and steaks. Timi Ebikagboro, a Nigerian Journalist also blamed the girls for wearing revealing and short skirts which leaves nothing to imagination.

They roll their waists enticingly and provoke some men who cannot control themselves. The love for alcohol, smoking and drugs, no doubt, plays a major role in this dastardly act. For me, RAPES are committed by APES. Period!.


South African girl’s gang-rape and murder triggers political outrage

Attack on Anene Booysen likened to Delhi bus case, but similar protests unlikely in country where rape has become normalised

South Africans take part in a Slut WalkThe gang-rape and murder of a 17-year-old girl in South Africa has triggered expressions of outrage from politicians and calls for Indian-style protests against a culture of sexual violence.

Anene Booysen was reportedly lured away from her friends and raped by a group of men. She was badly mutilated and left for dead on a building site in the town of Bredasdorp, 80 miles east of Cape Town, and found by a security guard on Saturday morning.

Hospital staff who fought to save her life were given counselling because of the horrific nature of her injuries, local media said. Before she died, Anene identified her former boyfriend as one of her attackers. He and another man have been detained, and police say more arrests are likely.

The case is being compared to the gang-rape and murder of a 23-year-old student on a New Delhi bus that triggered huge demonstrations inIndia against endemic gender violence.

Patrick Craven, spokesman for the Congress of South African Trade Unions, said: “When a very similar incident occurred in India recently, there was a massive outbreak of protest and mass demonstrations in the streets; it was a big story around the world. We must show the world that South Africans are no less angry at such crimes and make an equally loud statement of disgust and protest in the streets.”

But such a display seems unlikely in a country where rights groups complain that rape has become normalised and lost the power to shock. In 2010-11, 56,272 rapes were recorded in South Africa, an average of 154 a day and more than double the rate in India.

In January the Daily Maverick website asked: “Where is South Africa’s Jantar Mantar moment?“, referring to the location of the gang rape in the Indian capital and subsequent protests. On Thursday it appeared that politicians sensed that the death of Booysen might provide it.

The South African president, Jacob Zuma, said: “The whole nation is outraged at this extreme violation and destruction of a young human life. This act is shocking, cruel and most inhumane. It has no place in our country. We must never allow ourselves to get used to these acts of base criminality to our women and children.”

Lindiwe Mazibuko, parliamentary leader of the opposition Democratic Alliance, said: “It is time to ask the tough questions that for too long we have avoided. We live in a deeply patriarchal and injured society where the rights of women are not respected. Indeed, there is a silent war against the children and women of this country – and we need all South Africans to unite in the fight against it.”

Mazibuko vowed to table a motion in parliament to debate “the ongoing scourge” and said she would request special public hearings “so that we can begin a national dialogue on South Africa’s rape and sexual violence crisis”.

Such calls are bemusing to campaigners already working to combat such violence. Dumisani Rebombo, who was 15 when he raped a girl at his school in 1976, is now a gender equality activist. “We don’t need a debate, we need action,” he said. “My take is that more people need to say enough is enough, let’s prevent this in our country. We don’t need more recommendations. We need education. The question of debate is an insult.”

Rachel Jewkes, acting president of the South African Medical Research Council, said it had been researching sexual violence for 20 years and found between a quarter and third of men admit rape, indicating widespread social acceptance. “It suggests we’re not making any progress in combating rape in South Africa.”

But comparisons with India are unhelpful, she added. “In many ways gender relations in India are probably worse than they are here. In South Africa this issue has been in the spotlight for a long time; in India has been largely ignored. I noticed some religious leaders in India blaming the victim; at least we have moved beyond that with leaders in South Africa. But both countries have a major problem in terms of not tackling the issue.”