The batterer always blames the Victim for causing the violence.
One of the Strange things about abuser’s is that most of them, “presumably without ever talking to one another – say exactly the same things to their partners.
The Victim should understand the hurtful and abusive things there partner may say, are not true. most likely they are only attempts to avoid responsibility or are said to make it difficult for victim to leave.
These are some of common things abusers say:
* You’re so stupid / Worthless / Ugly / Fat.
* You don’t even know how keep the house in a decent state / you’re a bad mother and hopeless cook / frigid / bitch/ whore / no-one else would want you, you’re lucky to have me. (He means: I’m the victim here.)
* If you tell anyone else about the abuse… you’ll be sorry / no-one will believe you / I’ll report you to social services as an unfit mother. “You don’t know who you’re up against.(He means: I’ll have the last word.)
* If you try or leave me. You will never get away / you couldn’t cope without me / no-one else will have you / I’ll snatch the kids and you’ll never see them again / I’ll track you down and find you even if it takes years and then I’ll kill you so you’ll never be able to live in peace never knowing when it will happen. (He means: I’ll win, no matter what it takes.)
* If you leave me I’ll kill myself and you’ll have to explain to our children why their dad is dead and it’ll be on your conscience for the rest of your life. (Emotional blackmail)